Over the years, I have struggled with the idea of holding people to a higher standard than mine. People like my mother, father, friends, supervisors or even just idols in general. This first become apparent to me in 2010 when I realised that my mother was just human like myself, it's something I couldn't comprehend for such a long time.
This year has been a real eye opener, especially working under someone I respect so greatly and then coming into contact with someone who I've idolised since I was fifteens years old. I've had a lot of time to think over this, there has been a lot of anger towards people, and maybe it was anger towards myself. I didn't know how to react to the idea that all these people who inspired me were just human.
The biggest step with all of this has been my father, he was never a big idol to me, we never really saw eye to eye when growing up. Though, my mother was a big influence on my life, and I still keep in contact with her all the time. Last night my father as down in Melbourne, we went out had some dinner. It could have been like it usually was, a tense awkward conversation about how things are going. Instead it was a great experience, I showed him around Melbourne, took him to the bars I frequent, even made him try the drinks that I like.
Breaking someone out of their comfort zone has always been my favourite thing, I think this is the first time in my life that I can remember, besides the time my father and I went to go see Clerks II or Death Proof at the cinemas. Where our interests aligned, though last night I found what I had been looking for, my father who could be considered more of a friend, someone to catch up with and talk about how our lives are going.
Every time we catch up, I am reminded of the jokes we used to have when he was still together with my mother. References to the stupidest things like, Hot Rod or Star Wars.
Now, I've written a lot of things about my mother. She has supported me so much through life, emotionally, physically and financially. It's something I will hold my father to as well, but not expect it, there have been times where he has let me down in those regards. He also should hold me to the standards, as one of his children, his eldest son.
I've had discussions with people from industry about putting people on a pedestal, where I find someone who holds the same values as I do. They make me feel something that I can't find anywhere else. It's something I am learning, to treat them as an equal not someone who is better than me or on some higher level.
Life is always a learning experience, I know that some part of me holds onto anger from when I was younger, but as an adult who has forged his path in a city alone from his family for almost three years, this is a great step forward...